When getting out of the family home to go start off on one’s own, most young people for fear of facing high costs on their own, will always get friends or former classmates to share the living quarters with them. Normally what they fail to do is to check the background of these friends as pertains to their cleanliness and housekeeping.

Many people do not realize these matters as important, when planning to share a house with other people. Actually you should first of all think about how aware they are of hygiene such that the sanitation of your living environment and the general cleanliness of the house are not compromised.

Anyone who cannot keep things and their living quarters clean should just confine their untidiness to their own quarters. This however, becomes very hard when it gets to the sharing of some common amenities like the washrooms and it can even reach the kitchen and the living room as well. It is always wise to make sure that all the dirty things are cleaned within 48 hours.

If the dirt is from animal protein or anything to do with the blocked sewer or toilet, then it becomes worse and should be treated with utmost urgency. Making a duty roster does help under such situations so that each person can get a chance to do some proper cleaning of the rooms. It helps to avoid any disgruntled feelings from some quarters.

Sharing with people does not mean that every person will know how to exercise cleanliness or all the rules of general hygiene. Sharing the house with non family members is very hard, since they force you to conform to their own standards. Some would be ignorant in areas such as common courtesy or things like needing to turn down the sound of music in the late hours of night.

Some would keep using things that do not belong to them and have no qualms about it. They would not even bother to ask first before using anything that is not theirs. It is always important to have clear cut arrangements about one’s privacy, sharing personal belongings, and giving one another individual space. This will help the housemates to keep their trust and friendship intact and avoid hurting other peoples feelings.

It is important to discuss issues to do with money and expenditure and other issues that are common to all.

Discuss the expenses that are joint, who will do the grocery shopping, go pay rent and bills for utilities and so forth. People should not postpone such discussions. Duties and responsibilities when shared; must be followed up to prove that payments were made and purchases done.

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1. Levels of deafness vary, from 20dB (mild) hearing loss to 90dB (very profound) loss. Be aware that people who are hard of hearing may still be able to hear what you are saying, however the sound may seem quiet or distorted. As a result of this, they may have trouble in differentiating words that sound similar, but look the same. Examples of this are: ‘fifteen’ and ‘fifty’. If you find yourself agreeing a time, price or quantity - or any other piece of important information ensure that they repeat it back to you, and are clear in their understanding of the conversation. There may always be some misunderstanding in conversations, so to prevent negative feelings be understanding and patient.

2. Ensure that the person speaking is well lit, and that you are facing each other throughout the conversation. By facing the person you are speaking to, it allows them to better understand what it is that you are saying. Not only will they pay more attention to the words that you’re saying, but they will also have the opportunity to lip read and speech read, as well as interpret your facial expressions. By ensuring that your face is well lit, each movement your speech makes, the other person will be able to read.

3. Those that have hearing should change their manner of speech slightly when they know that the person they are talking to are deaf. Speak in a normal fashion, but refer from speaking too quickly, or rushing particular words. Avoiding complex sentences and pausing after each sentence will make your speech a lot easier to process. Also, keep items and your hands away from your mouth, unless you aim to assist your meaning by the use of your hands. By touching your mouth or face during speech without thinking, you could be confusing the person watching you, and it will make your speech harder to understand.

4. If a deaf person could not understand the meaning of something a hearing person has said, instead of repeating the same thing, the hearing person should reword the original sentence to try to convey the meaning with different words. This can be an issue as many words look the same, and when trying to discuss a new concept difficult sounds may be misinterpreted.

5. Avoid having conversations near loud noises, and reduce all background noise where possible for the duration of the conversation. This will ensure your communication partner can concentrate on the conversation, and can be as simple as muting a radio or television.

People that are deaf can often become frustrated that they cannot understand what people around them are saying. If their communication partner is trying to tell them something, but cannot effectively do so, it can also become frustrating. The tips listed here are simple; however by using them it can change the success of every conversation and make the experience for both parties a better one.

St. John’s Catholic School for the Deaf is Deaf School based in Wetherby, Yorkshire. It is both a day and boarding school for 3 - 19 years olds, with continued development plans to help students progress through University.

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At one time in the world’s history story telling was integral to the survival of our earliest records. Before the proliferation of the written word, great story tellers and bards were responsible for documenting history with all its great accomplishments and stunning defeats. The times, they are a-changing.

Any major event these days is usually caught on film. The average person can afford to document their family history with inexpensive equipment. Online blogs have become the premiere story telling vehicles. Facebook and twitter statuses, now document everything from the completely inane, to major political events. In all of this “new” media, have people begun to lose their knack for story telling?

There are few things worse than being stuck listening to a story from someone who can’t tell it. It is an exercise in complete frustration. People need to get better! Avoiding a couple of common story telling mistakes can change you from a complete bore, into the life of the party.

To me, the three story telling sins are as follows:

1. Telling them too slowly: This is horrible. The worst part is once you are invested in listening to these people you know it is going to be a long story because they are telling it so slowly. Their voice is monotone and they drag out each thought until you are ready to choke them. If you are telling a story - get to the point as quickly as possible while retaining all pertinent info. At least pretend like your story is important and animate your speech a bit. A little enthusiasm won’t kill you.

2. Tangents: This is the worst. This will kill a story with a quickness. If you are telling a story about some intense showdown you had with a mugger…stick to that. A tangent about how you went out for ice cream, and they totally don’t have that one ice cream you love, which is weird because it is like ALWAYS there! Did I mention the cashier looked just like Webster? It was uncanny, I was totally waiting for Mr. Kostoplous…Oh my god! What’s his name again? What? Yeah thats it! OMG I can’t believe I forgot that…OK where was I? At this point I don’t know anymore and I certainly don’t care. I am silently praying to all that is holy, you forget yourself and this farce comes to an end now. I might even jump in with my own Webster story because the thought of hearing your inane babble any longer makes me sick to my stomach. In conclusion…tangents are bad!

3. The Bad Story Warning: If anyone ever starts their story out with these words: “OK I suck at telling stories…” then RUN. The fact is, if someone is saying that it is because their stories are bad. People have let them know by either telling them or walking out of a room. At one time in my life, I genuinely thought that I would punch someone square in the nose as soon as they said that. I think any legal ramifications I incurred would have been off set by the time saved not listening to them prattle on. I never acted on it but I thought about it. Don’t set your self up for failure. Be confident!

I am not claiming to be a great story teller. I am not claiming that at all. I am however, a fan of a great story. I can say with 100% confidence that no story I have ever heard that was told too slowly, went off in tangents or was prefaced ay a bad story warning has been great. They haven’t even been good. In fact any story that matches all three of those criteria have been some of the worst moments in my history of social interaction. If you suck at telling stories, and if you do you know it, your first step should be to eliminate the above “sins”. Try it for your next story and let me know how it works out for you. Just get to the point when you do!

Let him tell you a story! For more info on Ted check out his blog: Ted Payne.

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Universal Laws carry all inter-related energies and are founded on the understanding that everything in the universe is connected, including humans and that energy moves in a circular motion. It is at the microscopic level, that we are a whirling mass of electrons and energy atoms spinning to create mass. Everything in the world is comprised of this whirling mass of electrons and energy atoms. Humans are intimately connected with this energy.

Your thoughts, feelings, words and actions are forms of energy within the inter-related whirling energies. What you think, feel, say and do in each moment comes back to you to create your reality. Since these energies move in a circular motion, everything that goes around comes around. All the combined thoughts, feelings, words and actions of everyone and everything on the planet and in the cosmos creates a collective consciousness, it creates the world you experience.

When you use the law of thinking you are accessing infinite possibilities. You are naturally drawing from the Universal collective consciousness. Your desires come from a discontent or longing. Your longing is a helpful navigator that gives rise to creation. Longing prompts you to choose what you want and coalesce energy around you in order to bring it forth.

Once you are aware of your longing, your focus moves the longing up a level to a clear intention. You can not move into intention without awareness. When you focus on your clear intention you are engaging with the Law of Attraction. The Law of Attraction holds the inter-related energies of how we create the things, events and people who come into our lives. Your thoughts, feelings, words and actions produce energies which, in turn, attract like energies.

What is your desire today? What do you long to create? Once you are aware of what you long to create, your focus moves the longing up a level to a clear intention. Go ahead now, allow yourself to know what you desire, what you long to create.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Life Coach - Certified Hypnosis Practitioner, Author and Speaker. Dr. Dorothy facilitates clearing the blocks, fears and limiting beliefs, then, you can live the life you desire. She brings awareness to concepts not typically obvious to one’s daily thoughts and feelings. http://www.drdorothy.net

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Do you appreciate the fact that there are currently 10 trillion working for you — doing their level best 24/7 to keep you alive and well? Have you taken the time recently to thank them or do you, like most, take them for granted?

We are talking, of course, about the estimated 10 trillion cells that the experts, such as Dr. Oz, say make up your body and brain. Each one of these cells is an independent living organism with consciousness and intelligence that it uses to communicate and cooperate with the other cells that compose your physical self. To prove this statement, let’s look at two random heart cells.

If we were to take a single living heart cell and put it on a slide in a drop of saline solution, through a microscope we could observe it alternately contracting and expanding. Onto the other end of this glass slide, we could then place another heart cell from a different host, and we could observe that the two cells were “beating” at differing rates. If, however, we then began slowly moving the cells closer together, we would notice a point at which the two cells start to beat in sync with each other, even though they are still not touching. This means that the heart cells have the ability to communicate and cooperate with one another. For this to be possible there must be cellular intelligence. Isn’t that truly amazing?

Could these two alternately contracting and relaxing cells, working together, pump blood? No. How about if they gathered a few of their friends so that there are now, let’s say, 17 heart cells “beating” as one; would they now be able to circulate blood? Of course not. If, however, 100 billion of them teamed up to form a heart, then they can; that is, with their innate intelligence, their stellar communication skills and their willingness and ability to play a specialized role and work together, they can pump blood. Not so fast. Where would the blood go? From where would the blood come? To serve a useful purpose, the heart cells / heart have to be part of a complete circulatory system made up of arteries, veins, capillaries… in order to circulate the blood. Then there is the little issue of other tissues, organs and systems necessary to complete the organism — YOUR BODY!

Each of the 10 trillion (remember, that is 10-thousand billion with a B) cells of which your body consists has intelligence and the ability and willingness to play a specialized role in keeping you humming along. Together, by communicating with one another and cooperating in an infinitely complex set of interactions, they make it possible for you to live on this planet we call Earth.Is this not awe inspiring? Is it not something worth your appreciating?

Think about it. When was the last time you had to tell your heart to pump blood or your kidneys to carry out their role of filtration? Do you have to cajole them or threaten them to get them to get to work? Do they ask for time off, call in sick or request more vacation time and then threaten to go on strike if they don’t get it? Do the cells of the intestines complain about their working conditions in the odoriferous, dark, dank bowels of your body; do they ask to trade places with the skin cells so they can enjoy the soft breezes and warm sun and receive praise for their beauty? No!

Their own well being and your well being are their top priority, and when their lifespan (whether a day, a couple of weeks, 120 days) comes to an end, they have their progeny carry on their work to keep you alive and vibrant. Now that’s dedication!

And what do we do? Instead of heaping praise on our cells, these dedicated servants, for a job well done (you are upright and vertical for most of the day, aren’t you, and able to make conscious choices - right?), we tend to find the one thing that is wrong with us and focus and complain about that. It might be toenail fungus, heartburn, a pimple, a boil or even a more serious chronic condition, but whatever it is, it gets the bulk of the attention that we give our body. Is that right?

Here’s the problem. When we gripe and complain about stuff that’s going wrong (justified or not), this negative thinking/focus results in the adrenal glands spewing cortisol into the bloodstream to deal with the imminent threat (that’s how the cells perceive the situation). This focus, if maintained for long periods of time, can lead to states of anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, fear, depression, confusion — resulting in more and more of the cortisol and its stress-related buddies being released into your system. These stress hormones (cortisol, et al) prepare your body for fight or flight, which might be overkill for a hangnail.

The real problem is that since cortisol is linked to dealing with imminent danger, a threat to survival left over from the days of saber-tooth tigers and such, it takes priority over everyday functions, such as the release of HgH (human growth hormone), whose function it is to repair and regenerate cells. Thus when there is cortisol in the system, Hgh is not released to grow new cells and repair cells damaged by free radicals and the general wear and tear that aging cells regularly incur. As a result, the aging of the cells of your body and brain is accelerated — you grow old and fall apart even faster than you otherwise would.

Here’s the solution. Spend less time worrying about what disease condition might attack you or griping about your present ailment(s) and spend more time appreciating the 95% or more of your physical and mental self that is doing extremely well. When you wake up in the morning, go to bed at night and before each and every meal or snack, take a moment to FEEL appreciation for something your body and/or brain are doing well. Focus on a single item, such as your good eyesight, your ability to digest food, your immune system’s ability to fight off foreign invaders… and FEEL real heartfelt appreciation. Or you can make a list of 5 or 10 things your body/brain have been doing well and spend a few seconds enjoying feelings of gratefulness. This will help you switch from a cortisol / problem-oriented self to being a person with robust health because your pituitary is spewing gobs of Hgh, which is repairing and regenerating cells so they can serve you better. Imagine 10 trillion well-trained specialists working 24/7 for your well being. That’s something worth appreciating!

And now we’d like to invite you to claim your free Fitter After 50 e-newsletter when you visit: http://www.FitterForLife.com

From Ed Mayhew, author of Fitter After 50 and other books, CDs, articles… on how you can make falling apart as you age merely an option –NOT a mandate! Why not make the rest of your life, the BEST of your life by visiting Ed at: http://www.YouCanGrowYounger.com

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Have you ever been to Puerto Rico? Well, I have been blessed and privileged enough to have been born in that incredibly beautiful and unique Caribbean island (not that I’m biased or anything!). Among all the unique and unparalleled things you can find down here, there’s a tiny little frog, no bigger than a quarter full-grown, called the “Coquí”. Well, this tiny frog is special in many ways. Aside from its size and beautiful color, it has the most amazing song, actually, its name comes from the sound it makes. But, there’s a lot more to this amphibian than meets the eye.

Bare with me here. I know you didn’t come on here to read about a tiny frog. After all, if that was what you wanted to learn about you would have logged onto the “Animal Channel.” The REAL purpose of this article is to talk about entrepreneurial mindset, and finding your “why,” meaning the reason behind your ambitions. So, what does that have to do with the “Coquí”?

Well, the most unique aspect of the “Coquí” is that this incredible amphibian cannot survive if it removed from the island of Puerto Rico. I don’t mean that if it is removed from the Caribbean or its time zone. I mean that this froggy dies the second it leaves Puerto Rican territory! Have you ever heard of such devotion?

A few nights ago, I was sitting at home, working away. Suddenly, I heard the clear, crisp sound of the Coquí’s song. That got me to thinking about what it is that makes the “Coquí” so set on Puerto Rico or nothing. I mean, this piece of earth is so incredibly important to the “Coquí” that its very existence is inherently connected to it. Then, I asked myself if there was anything in my life that was THAT essential to me. What is it, if anything, that if removed from my life would render it non-existent? See, it is imperative for all entrepreneurs to find that thing, that essence, that mystery, which changes their “beingness” from mere existence to actually LIVING. It is THAT which constitutes our “Why”.

Without a “Why,” those late nights trying to get ahead, and turn a dream into a reality would not be worthwhile. Without a “Why,” there would be no real drive or determination. Without a “Why”, setbacks would be cause for surrender and tiredness would be an excuse for mediocrity. Without a clear and strong “Why” there is no real courage, rhyme or reason. Without a “Why”, there would be only dreamers and no real achievers.

As I listened to the song of the “Coquí”, all these thoughts raced through my mind and I wondered if I was clear on my “Why”. Was I harboring the right kinds of thoughts to attract the right kind of results? Was I focusing on the correct goal and reason for striving? Was I just looking to satisfy some ridiculous vanity, or was I really aiming at something bigger?

I spent some time listening to the “Coquí”, then I went back inside. I peeked into each of my daughter’s bedrooms. They looked like peaceful angels, sound asleep. I gently stroke their heads, and pulled up their covers. I said a quick silent prayer for each of them. Then, I realized, as I sat back at my computer to finish the work from which I had paused to take in all these musings, that I have probably the biggest “Why” any human being can have.

I strive, I push, myself, I do not quit, because I will be here for my girls every day, I will provide them with the kind of lifestyle they deserve, I will demonstrate for them the fact that there are no impossibilities, and that working on your dreams is always a good investment. Aside from God, they are my biggest reason for success. For THEM I do not quit. For THEM I am building a real future. For, THEM, like the “Coquí”, I sing a song of joy!

Marcy Amaro is the owner and creator of http://www.GlobalMarketingClassroom.com. She is a wife, mother of two, and a former English teacher, turned internet entrepreneur. She has gone from a schoolroom to working with six-figure income earners and millionaires, all from the comfort of her home. Her Passion is helping others who have a burning desire for success achieve their dreams. You too can succeed. Find out how at http://www.StrategicMarketingMaven.com.

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Everything has its opposite. The Chinese “Yin and Yan” symbol is often seen in happy and grand occasions. It is nothing exceptional, except it promulgates like what we had learnt from the law of Nature- what goes up must come down, in the gravity sense.

Retribution is real and should not be taken with a pinch of salt. The action and reaction of anything that we do daily, is evident to support the reason why we should take heed.

Our actions reflect on situations when we start to act or react impulsively which will raise the decibels. This will result in unhealthy accumulation of spites and lead to misunderstanding which benefits no one.

There is always a reason to the way how we act. Unless the reason is made known, it will harbor ill-feelings.

The argument over the truth of karmic reaction serves no purpose. Literally speaking, karma is like a colossal size mirror that bounces back both positive and negative impulses.

Retributions will start to take effect and it is a pay-back time for our own misdeeds or even sins. The only solution is through atonement because repentance may not guarantee the avoidance of repetition owing to human weaknesses.

How often had we paused for a moment to make a self-check over what we had done? How frequently we had stretched our hands out to give but not to take? And how many times we had tried to walk a mile in the person’s shoes?

Simple questions indeed! We should try to answer them honestly, but we are likely to end up fumbling for the appropriate answers.

Say what you like, but remember that there is a purpose for us to be here. We don’t have to resort to throwing a dice to determine what kind of persons we want to be either. We are here, bundled in a package together with destiny, and there is nothing we can do about it.

I might be beleaguered as a racist by presenting this fact. Just look at Africa and India. A high percentage of the populace is suffering and in misery. Is the colour of the skin the determining factor for such subjugation? If we all are god’s children, then why are we seeing this blatant discrimination?

The common sight in many Asian countries comes from the destitute. The homeless, street people and beggars are rampaging through detritus that we had discarded. Looking for leftover and fermented food to ease their hunger is heart-wrenching indeed.

This is their one-way journey in life as human beings until their “debts” are settled to redeem their cruel fate.

Perhaps what we had done wrong in our previous lives were accrued and to be redeemed through retribution in this life? I like to believe it is true!

They are akin to serving their time like convicts in prisons, until a new lease of life is warranted to declare their freedom. But the freedom through retribution should be understood that they have to suffer until the last breath.

Can humans learn after having to pay the price in this life? I am afraid the answer is no, because we don’t even know what we had done wrong in the past life altogether! It is only a hearsay that has made scepticism to be stark.

The most despicable retribution is to be born handicapped and called street their homes. If there is a choice, it is better to be mentally challenged because there is nothing to think for and about, but only to wait for the physical resistance to succumb. This is when they are truly free from such shackles that are denuding them of self-respect and dignity.

Lim Cheng Inn
Author, Photographer, Videographer, Citizen Journalist
Dawning Eyes @ The Crossroad Of Truth
http://www.dawningeyes.com/

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“From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.”

-Sir Winston Churchill

“Out of perfection nothing can be made. Every process involves breaking something up.”

- Joseph Cambell quotes

Perfection

As we will often do in the See The Smile Challenge, let’s change our opinion of a word. Today we discuss the ever sought out strife for perfection. Let’s push it through the perspective filter and squeeze out a positive word on the other side.

We have to stop striving for perfection and start living. What is your definition of perfection anyway? I am not sure that I can really nail a solid meaning of the word down. I know that it is something that I certainly have not obtained. Come to think of it, I have never seen anyone else reach the summit of perfection.

Wait a minute, I just said that I didn’t have a clear definition of perfection. So how can I say that I have never seen it? How can I say that I have not performed acts of perfection? Maybe I think that perfection is an end product. What if perfection is more than a mountain top of accomplishments?

Perfection for many of us has become the way that we judge ourselves. We believe that we have to measure up to a certain expectation or our perfection meter will red line. Who set this perimeter of expectation anyway? Is it your expectation or is it a perception of someone else’s expectation for you? Was it a learned way of life from watching your parents ways? Maybe the strive for perfection is in reality a method to prove our worthiness. Maybe perfection is more of a fight for our identity than an end goal.

Let’s stop the fight. I would like to start looking at perfection as the journey instead of the goal. I would like to start thinking of perfection as a mindset. O.K. so now we are getting somewhere. I like this definition. Let’s nail this definition down. Here it is: Perfection is a mindset which is obtained every time we remember to smile. Can there be a better meaning of the word? Is there any more perfect thing on this earth than smiling at someone you love. Watch their reaction to your smile. Look at their facial features and their mannerisms. Listen to their voice and you will notice that the smile you just put on your face made them put one on theirs. You will realize how powerful a smile can be.

The next time you pass someone on the street with their head down and the word misery written on their forehead say hello and give them a genuine smile. It could change their day and maybe much more. A smile has a ripple effect. What if that person on the street that you smiled at has a change of attitude. That change of attitude would only have to last a few minutes for something incredible to happen. A decision on their part to do something that they normally would have could change the course of their life. Maybe they fill out a job application that they did not have the confidence to do. Maybe they call someone that they should have a long time ago. Maybe they call their son or daughter that they haven’t talked to in years. Maybe they let fear out of the way long enough to do something amazing. The next time you pass someone on the street on your way to perfection think of this.

We can all reach this mountain top. We can all experience perfection over and over again. Watching the ripple affect of a smile is perfection. Changing your opinion of a word that did hold you in bondage is perfection. Taking a debilitating thought and turning it into a positive is perfection. Today your challenge is simple, just be perfect.

Ben Luttrell
I highly recommend you visit my site- http://www.allwillsee.com

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The other day someone asked me what I considered to be the single most important tool for self improvement. Yikes! What a question. “I’ll have to get back to you on that,” I responded, knowing that I would need to wrestle with it for awhile before I could answer. I will work on it here and if you have any thoughts on it, I would love to hear them.

So what is the single most important tool to use when you are seriously committed to self improvement?

Is it meditation?

I consider meditation to be an absolute must when it comes to self improvement, but is it the only one you need? I don’t know. Meditation helps you get acquainted with the “inner you.” It helps calm your body and your mind, enhances your creativity and intuition and makes you more receptive to Divine guidance. I opens your subconscious mind and your spirit and allows the work to continue long after you finish meditating. There are many books written about the value of meditation and how to go about doing it. There are videos of guided meditations on YouTube so give it a shot so you can experience it first hand.

Is it Journaling?

Journaling allows you to express your thoughts, desires, pain, disappointments, likes and dislikes, etc. on paper. If done in a relaxed state where you simply allow the words to flow, it can tap into the riches of the subconscious mind. It allows you to express anything on your mind and have a record that shows you your progress. It enables you to see patterns and develop ideas. It is, indeed, an outstanding self improvement tool.

Awareness and Self Awareness?

Can there be any self improvement if you are not aware of who you are, what you want and need, and what changes are taking place? If you are not aware of your strengths and weaknesses, can you develop a plan for improvement? Being aware means you notice and understand what is taking place around you and self awareness means you notice and understand what is taking place within you. I seriously doubt if any progress can take place in the self improvement arena without awareness and self awareness. In fact, I doubt if you would even be on a self improvement path without awareness. But is it the most important? I really can’t say.

What About Positive Thinking?

For most people who are interested in self improvement, a key to lasting improvement is changing their thinking from negative to positive. If you gain insight into what makes you stressed, for example, and a major stressor is your job, then you may need to change your thinking about your job, your boss and/or your co-workers. Letting your mind dwell on how much you hate your job, how you dread going to work in the morning, how tired and stressed you’re going to be before the day is over, how your boss is a total dork and your co-workers are incompetent slobs will increase the stress level that you’re trying to relieve. If you can’t yet think of something positive about the job or the people, then think about something else in your life that makes you happy - your boyfriend if you’re single, or your husband and children, a walk in the park, sitting at the beach - or whatever it may be. In the meantime you might start looking for another job, but before you do, be sure it isn’t your negative reaction to the job and its people rather than the job and the people themselves. Make a point to get to know them better. You know the old adage about not judging until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

These are big four when it comes to self improvement tools.

Which one is best? I still don’t know that answer. We are holistic and we are unique. What works for one person may not work for another. What works for you right now, may not be as effective next week.

What I do know, is that if you begin to employ each of the tools on a regular basis - if you

• practice meditation
• journal your thoughts about the area of improvement you are working on
• work at becoming more aware of what’s going on around you and within you and
• work to change your thinking from negative to positive

you will begin to see some of the positive changes that you desire. If you have an opinion on one best tool, I would love to hear it.

Irene Conlan has a master’s degree in nursing, with a major in nursing administration and a minor in psychiatric nursing. She taught nursing at Arizona State University, served as Director of Nursing Administration at St. Luke’s Hospital and Medical Center in Phoenix and served as Assistant Director of the Arizona Department of Health Services for the Division of Health Care Facilities and Emergency Medical Services. She is also a certified hypnotherapist with a practice in Scottsdale, AZ. Irene lives in Scottsdale AZ and has two sons and three grandsons. She is an avid blogger and manages http://www.theselfimprovementblog.com
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In many conversations around the world it seems to appear in many cases that the definition of shame and guilt become almost the same meaning, however both of these words have very different meanings and by not understanding what they both mean could hold a person back in their development indefinitely, keeping them trapped in the past.

We will first begin with guilt as is the lesser of the two evils so to speak. Guilt is a feeling that we have done something wrong in our actions and that those actions could then lead to a pain of some sort, either to ourselves or to another, and even if it to another many times guilt comes as a fear of what pain we will have as a result of this situation.

Guilt therefore can be described as “our actions are a mistake.”

If we are taking actions that are a mistake, the situation is therefore our actions not us so although guilt can crush peoples spirits, the actions can be changes and therefore the results/feelings.

Shame however is not as easy and is usually more painfully debilitating than the person realises. Shame is not something that the person feeling it want to particularly discuss in public as it is something they would rather hide away, and the paradox comes in the form of if people feel they do want to be open about their dark past it is no longer shame as they can now face it. Shame is something that the persons mind feels is too much and wants to avoid discussing it for fear of the outcome.

The reason shame is so destroying is that whereas guilt is a feeling that our actions are a mistake, shame believes that “WE ARE” the mistake.

The mind we see through at this moment today will obviously disagree with this for self protection but shame is stored at an emotional level not a conscious level and can therefore keep growing and growing until it is resolved.

Shame can be stored in any part of our emotional self and can and will be formed in our young an impressionable years when we were finding out our place in this world. If the others that we learned from wanted to put us down to feel better about themselves it is possible that our reaction could have been they act that way because we are wrong in someway, but if the person we learn from does not explain why they do this, it could be assumed there is no answer.

There is always a way and if you can relate to the above, do something about it as soon as possible. Guilt and shame lead to avoidance of life, it doesn’t have to be that way!

The author of this Article is a Paul Ryder who is a UK based emotional intelligence, coach, personal trainer and author.
Paul is the director of Future Mind Training and has been studying his field for over 17 years. After working through challenges of depression, from bullying and abuse he now trains teachers, company directors and leading sports people to reach their true potential.
Future Mind Training offers workshops, distance learning diplomas, one to one coaching and other personal development products which has the aim of supporting the education systems to offer the most effective teachings they can to children. To find out further information on how you can learn powerful skills and resources and a high standard of coaching please visit the home page http://www.futuremindtraining.com and sign up for the free e-newsletter and/or our daily updated blog at http://blog.futuremindtraining.co.uk.

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