The Crushing Effect of Shame Vs Guilt
The Crushing Effect of Shame Vs Guilt
By Paul Ryder
In many conversations around the world it seems to appear in many cases that the definition of shame and guilt become almost the same meaning, however both of these words have very different meanings and by not understanding what they both mean could hold a person back in their development indefinitely, keeping them trapped in the past.
We will first begin with guilt as is the lesser of the two evils so to speak. Guilt is a feeling that we have done something wrong in our actions and that those actions could then lead to a pain of some sort, either to ourselves or to another, and even if it to another many times guilt comes as a fear of what pain we will have as a result of this situation.
Guilt therefore can be described as “our actions are a mistake.”
If we are taking actions that are a mistake, the situation is therefore our actions not us so although guilt can crush peoples spirits, the actions can be changes and therefore the results/feelings.
Shame however is not as easy and is usually more painfully debilitating than the person realises. Shame is not something that the person feeling it want to particularly discuss in public as it is something they would rather hide away, and the paradox comes in the form of if people feel they do want to be open about their dark past it is no longer shame as they can now face it. Shame is something that the persons mind feels is too much and wants to avoid discussing it for fear of the outcome.
The reason shame is so destroying is that whereas guilt is a feeling that our actions are a mistake, shame believes that “WE ARE” the mistake.
The mind we see through at this moment today will obviously disagree with this for self protection but shame is stored at an emotional level not a conscious level and can therefore keep growing and growing until it is resolved.
Shame can be stored in any part of our emotional self and can and will be formed in our young an impressionable years when we were finding out our place in this world. If the others that we learned from wanted to put us down to feel better about themselves it is possible that our reaction could have been they act that way because we are wrong in someway, but if the person we learn from does not explain why they do this, it could be assumed there is no answer.
There is always a way and if you can relate to the above, do something about it as soon as possible. Guilt and shame lead to avoidance of life, it doesn’t have to be that way!
The author of this Article is a Paul Ryder who is a UK based emotional intelligence, coach, personal trainer and author.
Paul is the director of Future Mind Training and has been studying his field for over 17 years. After working through challenges of depression, from bullying and abuse he now trains teachers, company directors and leading sports people to reach their true potential.
Future Mind Training offers workshops, distance learning diplomas, one to one coaching and other personal development products which has the aim of supporting the education systems to offer the most effective teachings they can to children. To find out further information on how you can learn powerful skills and resources and a high standard of coaching please visit the home page http://www.futuremindtraining.com and sign up for the free e-newsletter and/or our daily updated blog at http://blog.futuremindtraining.co.uk.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Paul_Ryder
http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Crushing-Effect-of-Shame-Vs-Guilt&id=4555646